How to Pick Yourself Up If Mother’s Day Is Tough

While others are brunching with their families and posting pictures of their moms on Mother’s Day, some are feeling lonely and sad, wishing they had a reason to celebrate. Friend, if that’s you, we are so sorry that you’re having to navigate those feelings. We understand that a Hallmark holiday like this is tough when Mother’s Day is hard. 

We want to support you in taking care of yourself on Mother’s Day, and we know it’s not an easy day for everyone. Below find our suggestions for how to pick yourself up if Mother’s Day is tough for you.

Walk with DogHow to Pick Yourself Up If Mother’s Day Is Tough

When it’s not all cards and flowers. 

1. Stay off of social media. No matter what else you decide to do to get through the emotional stress of Mother’s Day, we cannot emphasize enough the importance of taking a social media hiatus. In our Instagram-driven world, it’s become the default for many people to share reflections about their loved ones on occasions like this, so you’re bound to find yourself overwhelmed with tributes to moms if you venture onto any of your social media feeds. Protect yourself by opting out of those feeds for the weekend. Instagram and Facebook will feel like kinder places for you when the holiday is over.

2. Reflect on the important women in your life. If you’ve lost or have a strained relationship with your mother, we understand that nothing and no one can replace what you’ve lost. Still, we encourage you to take some down time on Mother’s Day to think about the other women in your life who have been impactful and important to you. Is there a mentor at work who’s given you advice when you needed it most? A best friend with the kind of maternal energy you’ve needed on bad days? A neighbor who’s showed up with soup when you’re under the weather or watched your kids for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Take the time to find gratitude for these special people. You might even consider sending them a card or a simple text letting them know you’re thinking of them on a day that gives you complicated feels. 

3. Indulge in self-care. Self-care looks different for everyone, but we want you to do whatever makes you feel whole and healthy. Catch some extra sleep, go for a walk, do a little mindful meditation, treat yourself to something that will make you smile, or take your sweet time making yourself a healthy lunch. And, hey — if curling up on the couch and watching Netflix feels like self-care for you on a tough day, do that. 

4. Gather a community. Chances are that you’re not the only person in your circle who struggles to process difficult emotions around Mother’s Day. In the days leading up to it, gently reach out to anyone you know who doesn’t have a relationship with their mom, has suffered a loss, or lives far away from their family. Invite them to spend the day with you, then plan an informal brunch or other activity to bring everyone together. Gathering a community who shares in your experience will make you feel less alone in your discomfort with the day… and may even give you the chance to have some fun with it! 

5. Get outside. Fresh air is good for the soul. Take your workout outdoors, set out on an aimless walk around your neighborhood, or grab a blanket and find a grassy spot for reading, listening to your favorite podcast, or writing down some of your feelings. Your complicated emotions are totally understandable, but working through them outside might be more uplifting than being stuck indoors. 

6. Pick a theme song. Is there a song that makes you feel totally empowered? That reminds you of your best self, and of all of the amazing things that you’ve accomplished? That motivates you to forge ahead, no matter the obstacles you’ve faced? You should own that song on Mother’s Day (and any other challenging occasion, for that matter). Play it on repeat throughout the day — no matter what else you decide to do to cope — as a reminder of all that you can handle… because it’s a lot! 

7. Ask for support. When you feel the feels about Mother’s Day starting to come on, don’t be afraid to let your friends and support network know that you’re going to need a little extra love until it’s behind you. Calling in the troops before the holiday happens will ensure that you have people looking out for you and ready to love on you when you’re feeling too blue to reach out. 

8. Celebrate you. It’s not easy to navigate the ups and downs of life when you’re missing a relationship that feels like it should be all-important, but maybe Mother’s Day is a good moment for you to reflect on all of the ways that you’ve “mothered” yourself! How have you encouraged and inspired and pushed and forgiven yourself over the years? How have you built yourself into the person that you are? You deserve a celebration for that, so treat yourself. 

Flowers in Bloom April

Please share this with those who may need it. Sending you lots of love.

How to Pick Yourself Up If Mother’s Day Is Tough

We live in a fast paced world where we are all constantly on-the-go trying to work and do as much as possible and be the best we can. For woman especially, it can be challenging to carve out time to celebrate yourself because you spend some much time looking after and caring for just about everyone and everything else but you. It is important to slow down and celebrate all that you’ve accomplished and the amazing person you are today. After all, we’ve all heard the advice to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, right?

Celebrating yourself increases confidence and ultimately helps those around you too. A more confident you will achieve more and help you be a better worker, partner, parent, and friend. But also, celebrating you more often will bring more positivity in your life, and happiness–we all can get behind that, right?

Coffee in the AMPhoto by Alejandro Photography 

So let’s dive into 9 Easy Ways to Celebrate You, NOW!

Practice gratitude with yourself: Write down three things that you do well! And try to do it every single day for a week. It can be the same thing every single day, or three new ones each day. Using gratitude can help shift your mindset into feeling positively about yourself, instead of focusing on the negative.

Clean up your space: Using the Marie Kondo (or KonMari) approach to organize and declutter can be an amazing and transformative experience, especially if you’re hanging on to belongings that don’t bring you joy. Start in your closet! Get rid of the clothing that doesn’t fit or flatter you anymore, and keep only the clothing that makes you feel amazing (see below)! Then move on to harder and more time consuming decluttering projects.

Wear clothes that fit you: You will feel much happier and more confident if you wear clothes that fit you. This may seem like a small thing, but it will instantly make you feel amazing when your clothes truly fit. Need to go shopping for a few new pieces that truly fit? Do it now!

Write down your dreams, both big and small: It can be as small as wanting to start the day off with a cup of lemon water or as big as solving world hunger! Writing this list and constantly checking back with it can be a great roadmap to where you’ve been and where you want to be. Celebrate your victories both big and small along the way. And be gentle with yourself for the dreams that take longer than you expected to achieve, or the dreams that completely change.

Buy yourself some flowers, a plant, or other self-love gift: Buy yourself something, whether big or small, because YOU deserve it! Flowers instantly bring positivity but also if you’ve been eyeing a new gadget or beauty product, just go for it. If the answer to the question, “will this item bring joy in my life?” is yes, go for it!

When somebody compliments you, hear it and say thank you: Full stop. Take the compliment.

Surround yourself with positive people: Understandably this is no small task. Ridding negative people in your life is hard! But keeping those relationships around is harder, especially if they are people who bust your confidence and make it hard for you to celebrate yourself. You deserve to be surrounded by people who cheer you on and make you smile, inside and out.

Give yourself downtime by saying no a little bit more: Everybody deserves a break. You too. Having some downtime, whether it’s 30 minutes or a full week break can help you reflect on all the wonderful you do everyday and give yourself time to recharge. It can be so hard to say no to an obligation, but go ahead and use no a little bit more for other people so you can say yes a little bit more for yourself.

Take yourself out to coffee or dinner: So many people are afraid to take themselves out but it can be such a confidence booster! All you need is you! Feel nervous to try it for the first time? Take a book to keep you company. Doing this repeatedly can truly help you celebrate yourself as you get used to the idea that you are all the company you need (sometimes)!

For some, the thought of celebrating themselves can bring anxiety or be totally uncomfortable. Start small. Taking pride in yourself can be a new thing for many people, but like anything the more you practice it, the better you get. Tell yourself as many times as you need to hear: you deserve it.

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9 Easy Ways to Celebrate YOU

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